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Category Archives: Life

人生

路遥的《人生》是一个朋友推荐给我读的。两个晚上就读完了。很震撼。鲜活的人物在我的脑海中转来转去,心情很复杂,但是我好像也理不出很好的思路来表达我的感觉。我知道,无论什么样的感觉,那都是局限于我现在的认知和处境,因此无关对错。但是我还是想把它们写下来,这样来观察我自己的成长。

对于高加林这个人物,小说中是两条线:事业和爱情。他是一个被动接受的人物,没有自己去争取机会,但是还有一些怀才不遇的心里。他被辞退教职和被接发走后门的事情把他在农民和城市人中转换着角色。他有自己给自己的定位,但是他没有为自己的定位争取,只是一味地听从于外界的因素。他没有认清现实,当现实和他的理想一致的时候,他很开心;当现实跟他想的不一样的时候,他就会气馁。没有一种韧性来支撑自己去争取。在爱情方面也是一样的,他接受巧珍,因为那是巧珍主动的;他接受黄亚平,那也是黄亚平主动的。但是他在接受的时候从来没有想过是不是应该接受,之后会是什么样子。这样的接受是对的还是错的。他空有自己的才华,但是他在事业和爱情的选择方面却是分毫没有利用。

对于巧珍这个人物,她是一块金子。她内心向往着知识,敢于追求自己喜欢的,同时也敢于承受结果。她对自己的定位很正确,她有自知之明,但是很乐观。她顶着巨大的压力,很慎重的在做着选择。然而在爱情面前,她也明白该放下的就该放下。

对于黄亚平这个人物,我觉得她代表的就是一些娇生惯养的城里的独生子女。她们敢于追求,敢于表达,但是不会替别人着想,她只会利用哭来获得父母的默许和无奈。她一切的出发点就是自己。

我感谢这本书,是它告诉我:
“人生的道路虽然漫长,但紧要处常常只有几步,特别是当人年轻的时候。
没有一个人的生活道路是笔直的,没有岔道的。有些岔道口,譬如政治上的岔道口,事业上的岔道口,个人生活上的岔道口,你走错一步,可以影响人生的一个时期,也可以影响一生。”

-柳青

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Posted by on August 12, 2017 in book, Life, Uncategorized

 

我亲爱的甜橙树

这本书的英文名字是:My Sweet orange Tree
我在豆瓣上找到的这本书。我分三次把这本书读完的。在这三次中,我最后一次的2个小时中,是以泪洗面过来的。第二天,两只眼睛肿的跟熊猫眼一样,而且非常的干涩。现在想这里面的某些情节,眼泪还是会止不住的留下来。那些情节让人触目惊心,让人心碎。里面的泽泽的早熟,善良,宽容和勇敢,让我无法忘记。

泽泽是一个5岁的小孩子,在家里那么的淘气,做一些淘气的坏事情, 在学校却是一个很乖很乖的小孩子。他的生日是圣诞节,在自己生日的时候期待的是生日礼物和圣诞礼物。在什么也没有得到的那一刻,他说了一句“有个没钱的爸爸真惨”,却被爸爸听见了。他很内疚,于是拎起了擦鞋箱,走到大街上去擦皮鞋,用赚了的钱给爸爸买了香烟。这是一个多么懂事的孩子!他才5岁!

我又哭了,这种情节还有很多。早熟的泽泽心里住着太阳,他对每个人充满了爱,他会主动想办法用自己的劳动给姐姐赢得歌谱,他会借给哥哥钱,他会帮哥哥去打架,他会帮弟弟描述美丽的动物园,他会偷花来送给老师,他会把老师给的钱分一半给比他还穷困的小孩子,他会想省油钱而请求葡仔带他去近一点的地方,他会看到爸爸找不到工作而替他担心,他会觉得妈妈上班很辛苦而心疼。他也会搞一些恶作剧,然后得来的一顿毒打。但是他在老师和葡仔面前是一个很乖的孩子。因为他们给了他温柔,而在家里,他没有得到任何温柔,甚至连吃的都没有。你给人家温柔,人家就会回报你温暖。人和人之间又何尝不是呢?!

这本书告诉了我:
“人的心是很大的,放得下我们喜欢的每一样东西。”
“当你停止喜欢一个人,他就会在你心里慢慢死去。”

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2017 in book, Uncategorized

 

Book : Audrey Hepburn

This book was written by the son of Hepburn. It records lots of slices of Hepburn’s life. There are lots of points which impresses me a lot. Here, I only want to record two of them which I need to remember and learn.

1 Know what you can do and cannot do.

It is a critical part in everyone’s life to know what you cannot do. One cannot make everything perfect, while he/she can make one thing excellent at least. You want to do everything, and sometimes you think you can do everything. Therein, you just give yourself a high pressure, which is good. But when you become anxious when you cannot handle all of them  in parallel, you should remember that time and tell yourself that the life is just a pot which has fixed size each time period. At this moment, the pot is not big enough for you to load that much, but you can enlarge it gradually and believe that you can make it at some time in the near future. Hence, concentrating yourself on what you can do and improving yourself a little bit every day is the basis.

2 She did not regret, because she knew people who she loved love her as well.

This is a different point of view about happiness, or I have to say it is an extension. Some philosophers say that the happiness is from yourself not depending on anyone else. From my understanding, this point is to say, if you love people, and you also know the people also love you, you will be happier. This is also proved that it is always nice to hear that someone like you.

In this world, we live alone, but in the meantime, you live with others. Your own actions and the interactions constitute each day. It couldn’t be better that you are happy meanwhile you make others happy. That is the ultimate goal I am pursuing for.

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2012 in book

 

Book: Mindfulness for Dummies

This book is very useful to me. Thanks Fan Xie’ recommendation. I will continue this post with my reading progress.

Here, I just want to excerpt some points I think it is very important to me:

1 Mindfulness can improve productivity.

To be mindful, you usually need to do one thing at a time. When walking, you just walk. When listening, you just listen. When writing, you just write. By practicing formal and informal meditation, you are training your brain. You are training it to pay attention with mindful attitudes like kindness, curiosity and acknowledgement.

You can train attention, just as you can train your biceps in a gym. Meditation is gym for the mind.

2 Overcoming Challenges

  You are running to achieve goals so that you can be peaceful and happy, but actually you are running away from the peace and happiness. Mindfulness is an invitation to stop running and rest.

3 Calming the Mind

  If you are anxious, you may just block your understanding. A martial arts student went to his teacher and said earnestly, “I’m devoted to studying your martial system. How long will it take me to master it?” The teacher’s reply was casual, ‘Ten years.’ Impatiently, the student answered, “But I want to master it faster than that. I’ll work very hard. I’ll practise every day, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?” The teacher thought for a moment and replied, “Twenty years.”

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2012 in book, Uncategorized

 

People judge you by the words you use

People judge you by the words you use. It makes me scared, worried, and inspired. My posts here bear witness to my English skill.

philosophy

Tips for how to be Articulate (http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Articulate).

  • Keep up to date with current events and know your history. This is not mandatory, but assists in intelligent conversation. What use is your speaking ability if you have nothing to speak about?
  • Know the difference between sounding articulate and just trying to sound educated. Using big words = educated. Using words that everyone understands = articulate. Adding unassociated statistics = educated. Knowing the small details of your position = articulate.
  • If you are incapable of anything regarding articulation such as, can’t eliminate verbal pauses, can’t think before you speak, have a weak vocabulary, can’t speak without slang or vulgarities etc. DO NOT DESPAIR! By simply reading aloud any professional writing such as a book, newspaper, or article you can instantaneously possess all the aforementioned qualities an articulate speaker should have!
    • The key to becoming an independent articulate speaker however, is to look up words and correct pronunciation for which you are unfamiliar with, and to refine your pronunciation as you go along reading aloud more often. Just like physical exercise you’ll notice your voice gaining strength and through practice your brain will become accustomed to speaking articulately. Training your voice can be fun just as any artist can develop and hone a unique style, but know knowledge and consistency are king. By reading aloud you’ll strengthen your voice and gain knowledge at the same time! There are great role-models, but in the end you have to put in the effort! Either through conversation or by reading aloud, PRACTICE.
  • If you find it difficult to stop saying ‘um’ etc out loud, try thinking the word instead.
 
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Posted by on September 23, 2012 in Life

 

How to prepare Presentation effectively

I am not good at presentation, and I always get nervous from the moment I am informed that I should give a presentation. Whenever I am told to present something, the whole week before the presentation gets messy. Obviously, it is not right. I absolutely have to sit down and think about it.

So this time, I decided to find the root cause. I spent a whole week in preparing a presentation, and I observed myself. I realized that it took me four days to prepare the slides. And the first version of slides was finished in midnight on the fourth day, the deadline I made by myself.

Is it called as Procrastination? I don’t think so because I did not delay the work. The problem is I cannot do it in an efficient way. I started to recall what I did in the last three days.

I started the preparation one week earlier. I first listed a lots of questions for the content I should present, and then I started to find the answers. I googled them with several combination of key words, read lots of articles, and downloaded and read several papers. This step took me three days. Why did I want to do this? Because I wanted to explain what I want to say. Because I was worried that I could not include all possible cases. Because I was afraid that I could not totally convince everyone. The inertia of debating leaded me to collect as much information as possible. I totally suffered the excess collection of evidence.

Basically, I got the mistake of Perfect. I wanted to make a perfect slides, so I started and explored all questions I can think about and tried to answer them. At the last minute, Reference [2] saved me and pulled me back. “Accept that there’s no such thing as a perfect presentation“.

Therefore, I got the lesson. There is no perfect presentation. No one can make a perfect presentation at the first version. You cannot convince everyone with your little work. But what you have to do is to explain it as clear as possible with the presentation. Your presentation can be improved in the process of practice. Nervousness can be overcome by well preparation. Notes and practicing can also help you trim your ideas. So the first version of slides cannot spend you two hours. Most of the time should be spent in the iteration of practicing and slides.

1 How to make an effective PowerPoint Presentation

http://speakingaboutpresenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/How-to-Make-an-Effective-PowerPoint-Presentation.pdf

2 How to save time preparing a presentation

http://www.speakingaboutpresenting.com/content/save-time-preparing-presentation/

3 Prepare Presentation Advice

http://www.cs.swarthmore.edu/~newhall/presentation.html

 
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Posted by on September 14, 2012 in Life

 

From not taking photo

I will write this down in English in white and black, because I want to shame myself if I cannot carry out what I write today and I want to open myself to everyone not only the Chinese.

Today, there was a fire alarm in the ATH building, so we were forced to go out. People gathered together and talked to each other in groups. I just met a new student and started to talk to her. Then one of my classmates came in. We three began chatting with research project things. Then I realized I could not remember my classmate’s name, which embarrassed me so much. And I started to recall his name. At the same time, a large group consisting of students and professors appeared. They were preparing for taking photos together. I just felt someone was calling us, but I did not response. Why didn’t I answer and participate?

I was entangled with this question after I came back to the office. I told it to my friend. Because I wanted her help me analyze it. I wanted to figure out the reason why I neither response nor take photo. Actually, I really want to take a photo with others, especially with professors, even more with my supervisors. I even dreamed before that I got a picture with her, in which we were arm-in-arm, smiling. And yet I gave up a chance.

I got a talk with my friend:

Friend: If you were alone, would you go there?
Me : I think I would.
Friend: But you did not tell other two people that you want to go.
Me : No, I didn’t.
Friend: OK. Some people don’t like social thing. They think it is hard for them. So they want to avoid the hard thing. People always want to stay in a comfortable area. You refused at that time, which means feel comfortable if you did not go.
Me : But I am sure I would be happy if I did, while now I am not happy. And I think I should be the one who was in the picture rather than looking at it. Just I cannot find the reason now. Maybe you are right, at that time I tended to stay in a comfortable area.

I started to run on the treadmill. Meanwhile, I kept on thinking of it, because I cannot stop before I came round.

I realized that I was a contradiction. There are two me: one speaks in Chinese, and the other one speaks in English. They have the different languages, and they have the totally different characteristics. The Chinese body is talk-tive, humorous sometimes, have strong confidence, like to do everything, like to accept everything, can control everything. While, the English body is very introverted, unconfident, extremely shy, escape talking, escape people, cannot control emotion. I don’t like the English body, and I hate it very much. It is not me. But it is really a part of me now.

And the key difference between the two bodies is the language. The Chinese body has the professional language level, while the English body has the high-school language level. I feel shamed with my high-school language level, so the English body has always poor performance. I am always following the principle that I should be confident and be sure of what I am going to speak before I speak it out. I am always telling myself that I should be sure to demonstrate my best before I do it. So I don’t want to show up when I have to be the English body. I am always considering that I am not ready to demonstrate myself in English, I am not ready to talk with people in English, and I am not ready to socialize with people in English. As the English body, I cannot find myself a comfortable place because I have no confidence in everything. And it definitely means I am escaping things.

Speaking to this, I have to expose the truth and confront it. It is the problem of English. Since 2008, I have told myself that English is your weakness and you have to get over it if you want to go further. After three years, I found English was still my weakness, because I would rather do coding stuffs overnight than learn English.
So in order to push myself, I decided to go for another degree at abroad. I think this time; I have to practice English, because I am in English-speaking country. But the fact is that I did a lot of ridiculous things in the beginning and I felt a lot of pressure. Then when I only focused on projects, I feel comfortable. So again I am attracted by projects and coding stuffs. Maybe someone will say “it is very good that you like coding!”, but I would say coding now is a poison for me. It is like the hard drug that makes me sink and lost. I cannot rescue myself.

Now and here, I have to make a commitment to myself. I have to direct myself into right way.
I want to take photos with others, go! CASCON is the destination.
I want to talk to people, then go! Every day, speak one more sentence than yesterday in English.
I want to make myself confident and comfortable in English, Practice! Every day!

 
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Posted by on September 14, 2012 in Life